Spleepy
So I’m back in England… wow it’s cold!! Thought we were still in summer here people? August? A bit of sunshine too much to ask??
Oh well, the glories of the motherland…
So I’m staying with my parents for the foreseeable future. Bear in mind that my future is only really foreseeable about 2 weeks ahead at a stretch currently. More like 2 days, 2 hours most of the time. I probably could/should make some plans, but that would involve a degree of alertness and the motivation to get off my bum and be a little pro-active. What with still being well and truly in the clutches of jetlag, I don’t think that’s an option yet.
I learned something about myself while I was away (phew – not a waste of time then ;)) and that is that my coping mechanism for stress is sleep. Whenever there is something that’s too complex to handle, I fall into this state of lethargy and physical exhaustion which results in me moping the days away in-between naps and long periods of doing nothing.
Some days I have made it through til bedtime without falling asleep, but on others I manage to sleep for 5 hours during the afternoon. It doesn’t seem to matter how well I sleep, or what time of the day/night it is, I never wake up feeling refreshed and my energy levels expire at the mere thought of doing something productive. I’m too exhausted to make any decisions or sort my life out, which has been put on hold in the most abrupt manner by my return home to a very-much-still-in the-process of being redecorated room, lacking not only curtains and a carpet but also a proper bed.
There are many people I should be catching up with… loads of really valuable and dearly loved friends who are (apparently) dying to see me and hear ALL about my trip. Which is awesome. Except for the completely overwhelming fact that I don’t know what to say. Where do you start explaining what you’ve been through, how do you even begin to communicate what you’ve seen and who you’ve met and how that’s changed you? I don’t know if I can… I don’t know if I even know that yet…
How can I describe the friendships I have left behind, the memories I have made with people I might never see again? The places I have loved and hated, the struggles and the joys that God has pounded my heart with…?
I’m feeling tired. I think I’m going to have a nap…
Oh well, the glories of the motherland…
So I’m staying with my parents for the foreseeable future. Bear in mind that my future is only really foreseeable about 2 weeks ahead at a stretch currently. More like 2 days, 2 hours most of the time. I probably could/should make some plans, but that would involve a degree of alertness and the motivation to get off my bum and be a little pro-active. What with still being well and truly in the clutches of jetlag, I don’t think that’s an option yet.
I learned something about myself while I was away (phew – not a waste of time then ;)) and that is that my coping mechanism for stress is sleep. Whenever there is something that’s too complex to handle, I fall into this state of lethargy and physical exhaustion which results in me moping the days away in-between naps and long periods of doing nothing.
Some days I have made it through til bedtime without falling asleep, but on others I manage to sleep for 5 hours during the afternoon. It doesn’t seem to matter how well I sleep, or what time of the day/night it is, I never wake up feeling refreshed and my energy levels expire at the mere thought of doing something productive. I’m too exhausted to make any decisions or sort my life out, which has been put on hold in the most abrupt manner by my return home to a very-much-still-in the-process of being redecorated room, lacking not only curtains and a carpet but also a proper bed.
There are many people I should be catching up with… loads of really valuable and dearly loved friends who are (apparently) dying to see me and hear ALL about my trip. Which is awesome. Except for the completely overwhelming fact that I don’t know what to say. Where do you start explaining what you’ve been through, how do you even begin to communicate what you’ve seen and who you’ve met and how that’s changed you? I don’t know if I can… I don’t know if I even know that yet…
How can I describe the friendships I have left behind, the memories I have made with people I might never see again? The places I have loved and hated, the struggles and the joys that God has pounded my heart with…?
I’m feeling tired. I think I’m going to have a nap…
posted by Susie at
4:17 AM
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