Erk

So I found out today I need to get £800 by Friday to pay for my "outreach phase" airfare.
In cash.

Should be interesting...

Fraser Island

So last weekend we all took off in a bunch of 4x4’s for a camping trip to the world’s largest sand island – Fraser Island. It was about 3 hours drive north of us, and we had to leave at 4 in the morning (eugh!), pick up the 4x4’s and get a ferry across. There’s nearly no tarmac on the island, so most of the weekend was off-roading to various degrees of extremity. It’s a pretty amazing place, with different stop-off points where you can swim or climb or take pictures. The most stunning of these was a place called Lake Makenzie – a huge freshwater lake in the middle of the island, with white sand beaches and crystal clear water. No kidding – it looked like the Bahamas or somewhere, but the water was sweet! Incredible beauty but no saltiness!! It was one of those surreal, dreamlike places that you would never have imagined could actually exist. Such a testament to God’s awesome creativity and beauty. The place we camped out at was along the beach (you aren’t allowed to swim in the ocean because there are so many sharks – didn’t deduce if this was for our protection or theirs…) which was another epic scene, windswept sand dunes with huge waves crashing as the sun goes down in a pinky murk of cloud. Pretty special. As were the 2 inch devil horseflies that plagued us all day… nasty!

A Day In The Life

For those of you who are interested in what I’m ACTUALLY doing here…! The Discipleship Training School has a motto – “to know God and make Him known”. And that is the overall aim for this training, to release the students on the course into leadership and work on your character to produce integrity and passion for what you were created for.

The first 10 weeks are the “Lecture Phase” and during this time we have speakers visit the school for a week and take us through various topics. The day on the base (YWAM rent space at a local church) starts at 8.00 with worship or prayer, or outreach preparation time. Monday to Thursday we have lectures from 9.00 to 12.00 and then lunch together. The day is then “free” time until dinner at 6, but we are all assigned work duties at various times – I have to help out manual stuff at the church like cleaning and moving boxes. Wednesday afternoons we have small groups, and at some point during the week I will have a one on one with lovely Ashlee. Fridays are a bit different, we head out to a local spot of natural beauty (plenty to choose from around here) and get into small groups for a time of intercession, usually followed by messing around and silly games. Tuesday evenings we have lectures after dinner on “missional living” which is basically looking at what it means to live with a mission focused outlook. Wednesday evenings we have another worship session and Fridays a bunch of us go and hang out on the beach up the road in Mooloolaba.

In amongst all this we have to keep a journal of what we think about the lectures, do a study of a different character of God each week, and book reports, as well as all the time required to process and personally respond to what we are being taught in the lectures. It takes up a lot of headspace and despite it seeming like there’s a lot of free time during the week, I am actually exhausted by the time it gets to the weekend!! Just as well there’s a beach to lie on ;)

YWAM Sunshine Coast

I guess it’s a bit silly to apply for a course when you are not sure what it really consists of, never mind flying half way around the world to turn up to a school without fully understanding what the organisation stands for. Arriving in Australia for my Discipleship Training School, I was full of anticipations but also a bit nervous because I had realised shortly before I left that I actually didn’t know much about Youth With A Mission as a whole, and was about to spend 5 months of my life subscribing to whatever it did stand for. Thankfully we did spend time in the first week looking at the story of how it all began and the values at the heart of YWAM international and YWAM Sunshine Coast. At the Sunny Coast base, they quickly tell you that they live by a set of values rather than rules. This stems from an expectation that we are all adults and able to look after ourselves without having details of our lives dictated to us. It is a call to a higher standard of living, one that requires you to think about how you act and how that will affect those around you rather than just blindly following a set of rules. Their belief is that learning to follow rules won’t make leaders, it just conforms you to a certain way of doing things. There is no thinking behind your change in behaviour, therefore it won’t last once you have let that situation that enforces it.

One of the most interesting things I have been taught here so far is that the Bible is not an instruction manual – that’s a popular description I have been brought up with, that it tells you how to live properly. It’s also one of the biggest criticisms I have heard from non-Christians, that they don’t want to subscribe to a set of rules. But if you think about it, the Bible doesn’t tell you what to think or do – there are so many situations that just aren’t covered, especially in modern culture!! Rather, it shows you how to think about what you do. Romans 12 v 12 talks about a renewing of your mind, and the Bible is a tool for transformation of our minds to a more Godly way of thinking, rather than for constricting them with a set of rules.

Answers eliminate the need for trust. If God desires a relationship with us, to see us grow and develop, then He is not going to just give us a load of do’s and don’ts because if that’s what we have then where do you go from there? There is no engagement in that scenario. Instead He challenges us to a lifestyle of values, constantly using our judgement and knowledge of Him, within the context of a loving relationship, to affect the world around us in a positive way.

Sweet.

Australia

Flying has lost it’s romance. Yep, as hard as it is to say, I’m over it. Whilst still a traveller at heart, the mechanics of the air journey have started to rust and this last long haul to Australia only compounded the issue. I think the main problems stem from cramp when you are trying to sleep, and airports – so much faff in such a short distance. Aussie customs are particularly harsh, I’m surprised you are allowed to bring in your hairbrush. It doesn’t help when your bags get lost though. And although as a Brit I should probably love queues, when you have been awake for 24 hrs plus I think it’s understandable to be a little peeved whilst trying to make your way through passport control.

Stepping out of the airport at last, (more like dashing for the door as soon as I see it!) I have nearly an hour to wait for the bus that will take me up to the Sunshine Coast. The heat hits, by now a familiar embrace, leaving me unsure as to how I best receive it. The sun is bright, and the air humid, and I’m here… at last!!

So what do I think of Australia so far…? Very chilled out – Maroochydore is a quiet suburb, I feel so safe here. It’s a super affluent area, where lots of Aussies come for their summer holidays. The schools are back now, so the season is quieting down. The food is the same but different… always the thing that catches me out is looking forward to something I enjoy at home (like Greek Yoghurt and honey) and finding that it actually tastes gross. It’s the middle of summer but also cyclone season, so really hot and humid with random monsoon style flash floods. Bizarre to think there is a drought an hour south of us!

Aussie’s are very open and friendly, especially compared to London culture where people do their best to ignore you completely. It’s a fair bet that someone will say hi to you when you’re walking down the street, and it’s the first place in the world where you will get a random smile returned, rather than a weird look. They are also crazily patriotic… that impression might have something to do with Australia day being on the first weekend we were here (make that Australia weekend!!). Maybe it’s just a culture clash, but it was so weird having the patriotic kick in church on the Sunday… can’t ever imagine that happening in England!!

Yet despite the affluence, the great weather, the opportunities and the lack of poverty, something is missing here. 30% of Australians suffer from depression, and the suicide rate here is the highest in the world amongst young men in particular. You wouldn’t know it from surface appearances, but I guess it’s a case in point that material stuff isn’t what the soul needs…

Baggage

Leaving home gets harder the more I travel. I worked out the other day that I have been on 6 long haul flights and 3 short haul international flights in the last 7 years, 7 of which have been for a month or more. I can certainly see that God has been faithful in His promise that I would travel! Sadly I haven’t improved on my packing technique despite all this practice. Preparing for the flight to Australia was probably one of the most stressful periods in my recent history… not happy days. A succession of small irritations gradually became overwhelming and I spent my last day in a state of denial that a) all these things were happening and b) I was actually leaving for the airport at 5pm. I think I started packing about 2.30ish.

The most annoying and stress inducing factor was the discovery on confirmation of my flights that while Singapore Airlines do allow an extra baggage allowance for sports equipment, you have to pay for the first 6 kg at £35/kg. Which is still over £200. Which I didn’t have floating around, as you may well imagine. Having alerted the prayer troops, I managed to sweet-talk my way around paying it once I got to the airport. Which was considerably later than I had wanted to arrive because after 20 mins on the first attempt we realised my passport was still sitting on the stairs… I think by the time I actually made it through security I was in such a daze I didn’t notice much!!

Anyway, this trip has been percolating for so long that it surprised me to feel so unprepared when it came to actually leaving. I guess the material things don’t really matter, and I can get whatever I desperately need in Australia (even though it’s SO expensive here!!). And it’s probably a good thing to not be so reliant on the stuff you carry around with you, however scary it is when things go missing, like when I arrived in Australia to find that my daypack (which is designed to zip on and off from my main backpack) had disappeared somewhere along the way. I was so jetlagged that I didn’t notice at the airport, and it wasn’t until I arrived at the YWAM base on the Sunshine Coast that I figured out something was wrong. Sadly because I had checked the bags in as one item, I hadn’t labelled up the small bag and so it’s floating around out there somewhere with absolutely no way of getting back to me. The annoying thing about it is that there is nothing in it that anyone would want to steal – just my Bible, prayer journal (which is 2 years old) with cards from friends and encouragements stuffed in it, and a notebook, hat and hairbrush. So it’s just been a random carelessness that has separated me from a record of my most private thoughts and the ways God has moved in my life over the past 2 years, which is only of value to me but leaves me feeling quite exposed and vulnerable knowing that someone could have picked it up and read it. All I can do is trust God that He guides it into the hands of someone who needs to hear how He loves people through the words they read in it, and that they can see through the venting of a private space and understand to treat it with discretion. His strength is made perfect in my weakness and powerlessness.

Plant Church

Celibacy, celebrity, cake, cuddle… many have mused on the possibilities for the first C in our church name. The significance of the true meaning however stands at the heart of our purpose – Community Church Harlesden. I’m not sure how many people I talk to about joining a church plant really understand the idea. I know my mum struggles with it… she kept calling a plant church for ages (conjures up images of us meeting in a greenhouse amongst the potting compost), and I find it quite hard to explain really what it looks like as so much of that is just daily life. Nothing too grand - just a bunch of friends who try to bring a daily offering of sacrificial living; loving each other and sharing life together, loving our town and attempting to share life with the people who live around us.

I love being part of this church. It was hard when I first moved in – having spent nearly a year living either with my parents or totally on my own, it was a shock to the system to have to consider others and adapt routines to accommodate housemates. There are also other sacrifices – missing big worship sessions with loud drums and guitars (especially after Newsong!) was one I felt in particular, just because of my love of worshipping with music. And however romantic and idealistic it sounded in discussions, actually living with people with the intention of “doing life” is so difficult. A continual dying to self, is required as well as a servant heart, and there’s nothing like living with a bunch of people to show you the parts of your life and attitudes that are not so great! I arrived thinking that it would be easy and fun, mainly because I knew most of the people beforehand, but community living takes friendships to a whole new level!! Still, I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. I believe it expresses so much of what Jesus calls us to in our walk with Him. I am challenged every day of the week, not just when I make the effort to go meetings. And if I felt like it, I could go to meetings in my pajamas. Beautiful.

6 Month Catch Up

Wow, so I obviously forgot all about blogging once I got back to England. It wasn’t for lack of things happening, that’s for sure – maybe too much was happening!! Well, lets see if we can get up to speed…

My time in Cape Town came to an end much quicker than I expected – it was funny, I felt like 4 months was going to go on forever and ever amen when I was first there. But by the end it was actually really hard to leave. I think that had everything to do with the amazing people in such a wonderful church. Newsong welcomed me in as a stranger far from home, and poured so much time and love and prayer into my life for the short period that I was with them that even now when I think about it I am quite staggered. I’ll never forget the last few days… Marlies and Ange took me on a magical mystery tour of the Cape Peninsular, and it was so much fun going to all the touristy places (especially the penguins at Boulders beach!!) after working pretty darn hard for the previous 4 months. We had goodbye drinks at a trendy cocktail bar in Kloof St, and SO many people turned up, even people who I hadn’t told about it. Guys – I was so touched by that. It was so special that you bothered to come into town just to say goodbye. Then my last night in Cape Town was a Sunday, so church was my final memory! For a while I thought it would go fairly unnoticed, which suited me fine as I was getting a bit emotional thinking about leaving. But then at the end Brad made me get up to be prayed for, and I was expecting maybe a couple of people to bother coming forward… when I looked up at the end, I was totally surrounded. Words can’t really do justice to how amazing that felt – it was like I had been there 4 years, not 4 months!! The beautiful thing about a community like Newsong is that being loved like that leaves a mark on you, and you carry it with you wherever you go from then on. I hope that I never forget what it felt like to be such a complete stranger with no idea what was going on around me, and to be taken in and treated as an equal and valued member as anyone else.

So I arrived back in the UK July 18th 2007. I was planning a quiet summer, no job, chill out with the parents at home before moving up to London in September. No such luck… as soon as I got home I went on a complete mission of a trip - first up to Doncaster for a reunion weekend with Ian and Simea Meldrum, the pastors from Agua Viva church in Brazil where I had led a student mission trip from St John’s a year previously. It was a lovely weekend to catch up with Lucy, Jodie and Andy who had all also been out there, and to hear about what was going on and plans for the future. And Jefferson was there too!! I also had to do a talk about leading a short term mission, which was funny – I felt kinda weird standing up there like some kind of speaker when that was the only mission trip I had ever been on!! But I guess it was all about God’s power in my weakness, always better that way around ;) On the Sunday afternoon I got a train from Doncaster to Shepton Mallet, to join some friends for the rest of Soul Survivor Momentum. Plans went all crazy at the last minute but I got there and (more importantly) had a tent to keep me dry! It was an awesome few days, and although kinda weird to miss the first couple of days completely I was loving it!! After that marathon, it was good to be home at last, and I spent about 2 days in bed with the new Harry Potter book!

The rest of my summer consisted of working a couple of days a week for my Godmother doing wedding cakes from her house in Lee on Solent (she closed the shop down when I went to SA) and a couple of days a week doing some work experience with the media dept at the RNLI. There were also 2 solo wedding cakes (and accompanying weddings) a couple of trips to Egham, a few driving lessons and a 24th birthday. I think I had about 5 days to myself in 6 weeks!! Still, no-one can accuse me of being unproductive!

September arrived much too soon for my liking, and that meant one thing… find a job and move up to London. This had long been the plan – to join the church plant in Harlesden, living in community houses in NW London. In reality, I had to move to London to find a job, so I bunked on Rach’s floor for a week or so while waiting for a room in one of the houses to free up. Eventually I got steady work until Christmas at Marks and Spencers Head Office, and settled into the rhythm of life in London. Maybe I’m getting used to fitting into places quickly because I’m never around for long, maybe it helped that I knew most of the people before I actually moved, but despite a bumpy start I felt a part of Harlesden Community so easily. As well as the privilege of being able to live with some of my most loved brothers and sisters, I found the friendships that have blessed me the most in this short time - particularly in my house - have been the new ones that have been made or deepened. I don’t know if certain people realise how much they have affected me. I can’t believe my luck to have experienced a second place of total acceptance and complete love, when some people have never had that at all.