I LOVE Film4!!

The best timing in the world, was when they decided to make Film4 free. Absolute stunner of an idea, and coinciding precisiely with when I will be at home twiddling thumbs for a little while. GENUIS (poking forehead wildly with finger)!!!

Films are currently one of my top recreational activies, those that know me will testify that going to the cinema is often preferable to sitting in a pub or going for a meal (makes me sound very antisocial, doesn't it?) I think it the chance to escape into another reality for a while, to be completely absorbed in something that doesn't require me to actually do anything, or make any decisions, or be affected by me in any way. In the past year, due to the nature of my job, times such as these have been exceptionally rare, and I have come to tresure the prospect of locking myself up in someone else's world even if only for a couple of hours.

I fear however, that I may be turning into one of these "arty" types, as my taste in films is definitely taking a more indie turn of late. Still a bit of a way off geekdom, choices are certainly swerving off the mainstream sensibilities of my dear mother. World cinema has opened up a whole new level to me, starting from commercial crossovers like Crouching Tiger (which I only watched a couple of months ago - muppet that I am!) and Spirited Away, now I love to explore a bit deeper into films that "mean" something (groan - listen to yourself, woman!!). My changed reaction to Lost In Translation is probably a good indicator - when I first watched it in the cinema I left feeling a bit let down, and confused, and not really getting it at all. A more recent viewing (on the aforementioned and much loved Film4) I felt like I had watched a different film!

Hence I am loving the Studio Gihbli season running at the moment - every day there is a new Anime film on, and while listening to a foreign language film while reading subtitles used to put me off (too much like hard work!) I now don't really notice it. The fascinating thing I find, is that the rules they use to tell fairy stories with are so different to what we are used to in western society - there are often times I find my self truly confused, albeit momentarily, by the recent turn of events. I feel everyone should give these films a fair go. Plus the animation is actually really amazing, and while Hollywood seems to have been taken over by Pixar-stylee digital films, the old skool cartoon-esque still holds some magic for me.

I love films because they can transport you , they can educate you, they can challenge you, they can lift you. Also I still love the blatant cheesy rom com rubbish found in the multiplex (arthouse diehards groan!) and I don't thing you'll ever wean me off it. There's always a place for a film with a fit guy... hehe ;)

Graduate Fever

It must be a condition that all who have had to return home from spending 3/4 years away at uni can sympathise with, especially those who have thrown themselves into life in this other locality to such an extent that "home" now is the place you go when you need a holiday! To then find yourself firmly back where you started out from all that time ago is about a rude a shock as any life might throw - not entirely traumatic at first (in fact I am loving spending some time with my parents and have missed home a lot) but it slowly begins to dawn that you have to start building a life now, however temporary it may be.

For me, life has a very clear pre-uni, post-uni divide. By that I mean that the life I had before venturing to the wilds of Surrey has not had much to do with the Egham based agenda of the past 4 years (apart from the Roseblade anomoly, which I am still trying to work out!). Mostly that means I haven't kept up with old friends, and while that is probably more a fact of life than any failing on my part, it has made the move back home harder. Having been used to being surrounded with more friends than I could shake a stick at, I now find myself at best with people I need to "catch up with", usually the best part of 4 years!

This was exemplified by Emma's wedding last weekend. Even though I knew that at the meal I would be sitting at a table with people I knew and most definitely wanted to catch up with, the fact remained that until then most of the people I did know were involved with official roles, such as bride, bridesmaid, photographer etc, and I had to turn up at the service firmly on my own. I knew I would be silly to worry unduly about this, and so gave myself a talking to before striking up conversation with the couple I had sat next to. They turned out to be the groom's aunt and uncle and it seemed they knew less people than I did, which was a slight comfort. The most amusing thing happened, when just as I had finished explaining how and why, I really didn't know anyone, I spotted out of the corner of my eye a very familiar face indeed. "Well, I think I know that person but I've not got a clue why he would be here at all!" Surprise of the day was my oldest friend Will turning up, cos his new(ish) girlfriend is friends with Emma - I havn't seen Will for a long time, and although I have known him most of my life we keep our link more through a family friendship than any individual effort. So it was a great surprise to see him, meet Toni and have a bit of a chat, the first of many "catch-ups" that day.

Anyway, my point is that most of the people I knew that day I have had relatively little contact with since I disappeared off to RHUL, and it left a quite surreal cloud surrounding the whole idea of the past few years. Worries of having no-one to talk to gone, the conversations I did have left me feeling almost as if uni was this huge dream that I had just woken up from. More like a coma than a dream, as everyone else has moved on with their life too! It was a similar story when I went back to my old church last Sunday.

Somewhere in the meeting of two old friends lies a fairly awkward space, where you are forced to evaluate whether you are still friends in the same way or if too much time has passed. Sometimes you can let it go without too much worry, and remembering the good times move on to what comes next but sometimes it is too hard to do that, and so you go on pretending that you are both still happy in the friendship as it was. It is sad to look upon an old, trusted face and realise that you no longer really know that person. With some you can fear it coming, but other people just surprise you.

But I guess, as so many have observed, that is just life.

On a lighter note, who did the cake?! It was amazing... (hehe!)

Sorry, I couldn't help myself...!

Ta-dah!!!!!

Wow, I must be bored. I actually created my own blogspot.

I am actually rubbish at blogging, so goodness knows when this will ever get updated, but since everyone has forsaken Bebo for the evils of Facebook ( just bitter cos it won't let me join), I figure this might be a fun way to keep in touch.

Why do I need to keep in touch? Well as of Monday 31st July 2006 I am officially no longer a resident of glorious Egham and this heralds the end of a golden age of studentdom at the Royal Land of Holloway (we'll forget that for the last year I wasn't actually a student). I am now back in Portsmouth (sorry can't get enthusiastic about that yet) and have the sum total of one friend in my immediate vicinity. When Laura gets back from Holiday Club that will double... ho hum, the joys of being a poor unemployed graduate.

But don't feel too sorry for me - I am fully intending on being somewhere exciting in the next 6 months, although exactly where still eludes me. I have plenty of options, could be Australia DTS-ing, maybe somewhere in Asia SCUBA-ing but I'm still plumping for South Africa and the film-making... will keep you posted!

In the mean time I am busying myself with driving lessons, wedding cakes and hanging out wiv ma biyatches (2 doggy-wogs, Domino and Cantik) and planning to traverse the length and bredth of our great nation in search of some kind of social life - why do friends have to live so far away?!!