Fish Out Of Water

Sat 21st April

The challenge looms before us, ever present on the corner of our consciousness. Seductive in it's notoriety, intimidating in it's elusiveness, we formulate our plan of attack...

The team gather early, as mist fills the city bowl. Shadows of doubt creep in but are quickly dispelled as we set off, ready for whatever the day might bring!

We reach the start point, and stand face to face with... TABLE MOUNTAIN!!

Ok, so it wasn't really that dramatic. People from all over the world do this everyday. But climbing the mountain still proved to be an accolade not easily won, and I am significantly chuffed with myself for having not only got myself up to the highest point (1086 m I believe) but also walked around on top and then got myself all the way back down again (ignoring the lure of the cable car!). A day is significant when you learn something, particularly about yourself, and this day showed me that beyond all doubt - I am not a mountain goat.

Climbing and hiking do not fulfil me in the way they do others. I can appreciate the beauty and splendor of mountain ranges, I can be inspired and awe-struck by rugged cliffs jutting out into the sea, and the biologist in me can be intrigued by the various species encountered whilst communing with nature but I do not feel this insatiable call to scale the heights of mountain upon mountain for the pure sake of it. I will occasionally answer the challenge - Table Mountain is one of those that proved too alluring to ignore - but I will tackle them at my own pace. Slowly but surely, as the proverbial tortoise, bringing up the rear and contemplating why on earth I started this mad journey. This only adds to the achievement in my mind... I just don't feel at home on the rocky slopes of a mountain.

Give me the continental shelf any day! Below water I feel a freedom and a curiosity that tugs at my heart and calls to my soul. I don't really mind where I dive (temperature aside) as those first few seconds descending into the blue calm my mind and allow me to breathe deeply in my spirit once again. Every dive brings me back to the same place where I can re-focus, even if it is only for those few seconds. And every dives deepens the hold of the ocean on my life.

Which is why I remain, unashamedly an ocean fish. Not a mountain goat.

And So It Begins

16th - 20th April

Monday morning I woke up with a smile on my face. For the first time since I got to Cape Town, I felt a peace about being here. And an excitement for the here and now... what would happen this week?

Well, with the new WFA course starting, anything could happen - and anything did!! Wednesday would be the first day but there was a lot of stuff to prepare first, and for those 2 days we were running around like headless chickens. Thankfully, after a couple of long days, everything seemed good to go. This week I received a new job title - it was decided that "intern" was not a particularly good description of my role, especially with the few added responsibilities that I have been given since I started. So I am now the Wildlife Film Academy Co-ordinator. Very grand! It will certainly look better on my CV...

Wednesday arrives and so do the new students. All seem very pleasant but as with any group, it will take a couple of days to get to know each other before they will gel as a team. And I will have to work out my place in amongst all that. The part of me (naively) expecting ready-made friends was disappointed, but that is to be expected - after all, it's going to take time to build friendships no matter what situation you are in.

The course has really given me something to get my teeth stuck into - so far it has been mostly lectures but I have been learning so much about the business side of making wildlife films, and how you can actually make a living from it. It's a valuable chance to get an "inside" peek at the industry and how it operates, very interesting!! I am staring to get very excited about the field trip as well... that's only a week or so away now! Can't wait for my first safari bush experience :)

Bush Camp

13th - 14th April

This weekend was the Newsong Bush Camp. Those that really know me understand I have to work hard with new people... it's not my natural inclination to go up and talk to people I don't know. I have been in plenty of situations at uni where I had to do this, and I still find it difficult. Even harder when I'm the new one!! I decided to go away with the church though, as however intimidating the prospect of a whole weekend with strangers was, it seemed preferable to a weekend twiddling thumbs in my room. And I want to get to know these people right? So take a deep breath and let them get to know you!!

We drove about an hour and a half out of Cape Town to a place called Stanford, just outside Hermanus - the whale watching capital of the Garden Route (in season, of course). The Bush Camp was called Wortlegat (pronounced Vortlehat, with the attractive throaty thing thrown in there) but despite the name it was a lovely place, on the side of a lagoon and not far from the beach. We stayed in cute little dorm cabins, which were connected to the main meeting hall and toilets etc by wooden walkways - all very rustic. Unfortunately Friday evening was some kind of freak weather event, and the temperature plummeted down to really really cold. It had been much cooler this week, signs of South African winter on it's way, but this was crazy cold. England cold. So cold you could see your breath. And our cute little dorm wall did not join up with our cute little dorm roofs, so you can imagine that however cold it was outside, it was that cold inside as well. Not fun. I think my nose froze during the night (the only part of my body I allowed out of my sleeping bag).

Thankfully the rest of the weekend warmed up significantly, and Saturday night was much more pleasant. The general mood of the weekend was chilled, a chance to hang out and build relationships (so no getting away from the awkward talking to people you don't know moments) but I found that people were incredibly welcoming and they sertainly seemed to realise that I would be feeling a little out of my depth. It really challenged me to think about how welcoming I am to new people at home. I don't think I make them feel this much a part of things, mainly because I am quite shy myself... but is that really a good excuse?? Maybe not so much...

Sat morning we had a time of worship together and then were sent off with some Bible passages and questions, to find a quiet spot for some "solitude and reflection" with/on God. It was good to be given a specific time to do this, as most often life overwhelms any intentions you may have, but all I could focus on was that I still was unsure about why I was here (generally in South Africa, rather than at Bush camp!) and God was still pretty quiet on that front. In the afternoon we went to one of the most amazing, powerful beaches I have ever seen - it was incredible!! Huge surf, waves pounding up these rugged sand dunes and a regal mountain range in the backdrop. It was certainly worth the hour's walk to get there!! And Sat evening heralded my first South African braai, a true cultural experience not to be forgotten! Where as in the UK the BBQ is seen as mostly a male domain, all are equal here and girls are expected to cook alongside the boys. We ate around a bonfire and told jokes and stories under the stars... beautiful!

Sunday we headed back to Cape Town the scenic coastal route, which was fabulous as it was a glorious blue sky day and the sea was amazing. Even managed to stop off for some ice creams, yumm!! :) Went to church as usual Sunday evening, but there was something different... I knew people!! I felt a real shift in the way I percieved my position within that group - the power of shared experiences. And I felt God say "this is good".

... Short Week

Tues 10th - Sun 14th April

Sadly this week I woke up with an eye infection. Gross. Thankfully there is a super-fantastic pharmacy about 20 minutes walk away, so I was able to get some gooey medicine to put in my gooey eye, but the thing about this walk is that it's 20 minutes downhill. And then you have to walk back. Up hill. And this hill, seriously, it makes Egham Hill look like a gentle slope. This may well be because it's gearing up to become Table Mountain, but that doesn't stop me having to walk up and down it anytime I want/need to buy groceries, rent videos or as in this week acquire medicines. I keep telling myself it's like a free gym, and encouraging the next step upwards by thinking how fit I will be by the end of my stay, but let's face it - a year living on the 4th floor of Founder's building didn't do much... it is these moments I most intensely regret failing my driving test.

I must add, though, that there are plenty of moments when I am relieved I failed, and don't have to manoeuvre a strange car around in Cape Town traffic!!

So this week was my first official week as "intern", now that Grace has departed these shores. It was ok. I'm still not amazingly excited or fulfilled by my work experiences, but everyone has to start at the bottom and work up, so I'm glad I can do it in an exciting place like Cape Town. I have been feeling very inspired to see the rest of Africa now, especially the other countries in Southern Africa like Namibia, Botswana and Mozambique. I am also missing Asia A LOT still. It's funny how I always seem to get restless. I worry sometimes, even in the most amazing places, how quickly I will start looking to the next thing.

Long Weekend...

Question - In what possible situation could a 4 day weekend be a bad thing?
Answer - When you have just moved to a new city and have no friends and no money.

Easter weekend loomed and I was trying hard not to think about the task of filling 4 long days on my own. Of all the times to have a double bank holiday!! However, it didn't turn out as dire as I feared - I made friends with Mr Video and watched umpteen films and caught up with the last half of The OC season 3. Managed to unpack and sort out my stuff in my room (I finally moved into the WFA on Thursday). Went for a walk to the nearest shopping centre and bought some conditioner for my hair (mundane, yes but highly important - and you wouldn't believe the trouble I have had finding spray leave-in stuff!!), some scented candles for my room, and a conversion plug from UK 3 pin to South African 3 pin (they have the WIERDEST plugs in the world here!!). Read some books. Drank some Rooibus. Sunday evening went to church - decided I should probably go back after last week!!

Monday was a lovely surprise - Marlies dropped me off after church on Sunday and invited me out with her and a couple of friends to a wine farm the next day. We drove about an hour out of Cape Town into the beautiful Winelands district and spent a morning tasting wine and cheese. It's the first time I had really done anything like that, so felt very grown up and sophisticated. Still couldn't tell the difference between most of the red wines though... and I ate mould eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrghhh!!!!(in blue cheese - not my favourite, if you couldn't tell but at least I tried it!)

We bought some cheese and wine, as appropriate when at a cheese and wine farm, and had a picnic under a big shady tree in the middle of the beautiful hills covered in the oranges and reds of autumn vineyards. It was just a very gorgeous and lazy day, in a beautiful part of the world. Love it!

Making Deals with God

So Sunday came and at a loose end I decided to have a wander down to the Waterfront. Armed with my map (hidden in my bag, obviously) I took a stroll, with the intention of checking out this city I am to call my home for the next 3+ months. It is certainly very beautiful. You've got to give it that. But as I was walking and thinking, I suddenly realised that I didn't really care that much about this place. Rather depressingly, the things I was seeing as I passed through the streets were not causing any kind of reaction in me, except maybe "is this it, then?".

In hindsight, I was obviously feeling quite homesick, and facing loosing the friends I had made thus far in the coming days, as they were all heading back to the UK in various fashions. I was also feeling a little isolated, as not having a car is quite a huge issue in terms of mobility in Cape Town. But even knowing these facts doesn't make the situation feel any better... if you're down, you're down. But there had been (and still is) a great expectation on my part that this time in South Africa was going to be very significant, and that there was a bigger reason that I was coming here - part of God's plan for my life, and various words of encouragement and prophecy had confirmed this prior to my departure from the UK. So it is a little disheartening to arrive in a city you feel you have been sent to for a reason, and find that you're not even sure you like it!!

I knew I needed to go to a church that evening. The churches I had been told about were all quite a distance from me, and a taxi was going to be fairly costly, which worried me. But I knew that if I could connect in with some people on my wavelength, who were not a part of the work environment and who weren't going to fly to a different country anytime soon, that I would start to feel more settled. Also there was the God thing, He would probably make me feel better. But I wasn't in a particularly good mood with God at this point, and our conversation ran something like this:

Me "So this is Cape Town then?"
God "Yep"
Me "Soooooo, what's this big Africa plan then?"
God " "
Me "Um, ok well can you tell me anything about why I'm in Cape Town?"
God " "
Me "You gotta give me something!! I mean it's a beautiful place and everything, but there's more to me being here than that, isn't there? I just need a little encouragement that this was a good idea!"
God " "
Me "Look - I have spent all this money coming over to a country I have never thought twice about to get work experience in a job I don't even know that I want to do, and all because You told me to. I'm here! I made it!! What now...?"
God " "
Me " Why are you being like this?? I don't understand!! Why am I here??? Why aren't I in Asia?? Why should I stay? Why shouldn't I just go home?? Why are You being so quiet, You had plenty to say in England!! Why why why aaarrgghhhhhhhhhh!!"
God " "
Me "I feel poo-ey."

So I hope you can see how productive that was. At this stage I gave up asking questions, and began to tell God how it was...

Me "Ok, well I'm going to go to this church tonight but it's too far away for me to afford a taxi each week, so if you want me to go there then I'd like a lift back please. I'm sure that's not too much for You to handle. Also it would be great if you could give me some kind of prophecy or picture or something that deals with my doubts, because I know that You sent me here but I'm not really feeling it at the moment. Preferably through someone else so I know I'm not imagining it. Then I will really know I'm supposed to be here."

Childish? Completely. And I am so in awe of God's patience and goodness that He puts up with stuff like this from me. If I had been that petulant to my mother I would have got a smacked bottom (or at least told I deserved one!).

Anyway, so I huffed and puffed my way back to the hostel and booked a taxi and turned up at church. I had decided to check out the Vineyard church's young adults service, which is called Newsong and meets on Sunday evenings in a golf club. I was a bit early but was welcomed in first by a guy called Tim and then by a girl called Marlies. It was a cool service, and I felt very comfortable with the style etc, but the best thing was realising that God had actually been listening that afternoon. As soon as Marlies found out I had got a taxi over, she insisted on giving me a lift back. And at the end of the service a girl came over to me and said she felt she had some encouragement from God - she saw me running after Him but not ever quite catching Him up, feeling like He was just out of reach. She said that God wanted to say that I would catch up with Him, I would catch the vision that He has for me."

Me "Thank you" (sheepishly)
God "I am always with you and I am listening. I love you. Be patient."
Me "I know. I'm sorry. I love You."

My First Week...

Sunday 1st April

... has been a mixed one, actually. A general feeling of apprehension with regard to making my mark on a new job, in a new city on the other side of the world from all my family and friends had been interspersed with moments of hilarity, the glow of making new friends and breathtaking views of a spectacular backdrop to it all. There is always a fear of being judged inadequate with any new venture, and despite having dealt with my first week of solo travel in a fairly triumphant manner, the first week working at the WFA has proved a slightly tougher challenge. I know it will take time to settle into the role here, and at the moment I am in a "training period" so am being introduced slowly. In reality it's meant I have ended up doing all the jobs no-one else wants to do... such is the lot of the new intern!

Life is not made easier by living in a dorm room at a local youth hostel (I won't move in to the provided accommodation for a few days yet) and all the invasions of privacy and routine that come with that. The hostel, Ashanti Lodge, is actually a really lovely place to stay but has quite a party vibe and whereas that suits the backpackers down to a T, I have now moved into the working world and so don't fully appreciate the need to have mother's meetings in Spanish at 5 in the morning, or to switch the light on when everyone else is clearly asleep!! Some people have no consideration, it seems.

Thankfully life is not all work and interrupted sleep... the area I am staying in is perfectly situated to make the most of Cape Towns nightlife, and cheap food and drinks are the norm here. We have been out nearly every night this week, and I have got to know Grace, Sam and Natasha very well! Yesterday (Sat) we went mountaineering (well, almost) - and climbed Lion's Head (well, I did nearly!!) The Discovery Channel were doing a local launch for their new Everest series, which involved turning this South African mountain into Nepal for a day - there were fake monks and realistic Sherpa food samples, even a "blizzard" in a tent!! The deal was that you climbed the Lion's Head and had your photo taken at the top, which entered you into a prize draw to win a trip to Nepal. This was being drawn that evening at an "after-party" at a bar in Camps Bay called La Med. So we set off all enthusiastic and passed some glorious views of Cape Town looking down over both the city bowl sides and Green Point/Sea Point etc. Unfortunately the heat proved to much for me and as I was starting to feel nauseous decided to rest in the shade while the others continued to the top. I wasn't too bothered to be honest - it was a great view from where I stopped, plus I had made it all but about 20 minutes, which is still quite impressive in my book. And there was no way I wanted to deal with heat exhaustion in a dorm room, no thank-you-very-much-at-all!! I did feel the shame every time a kid passed me sitting on my rock, on their way down from the summit. But shame doesn't cure heat exhaustion, does it? So on my rock I stayed.

Reunited, we made our way down the mountain and on to La Med for some much needed sugar and shade. One of the course camera lecturers was filming the event, and when he found us at the bar invited us over to have drinks with the TV gang. It was a really nice chilled out evening with interesting people and even more interesting drinks - what more could you ask for, except a couple of very attractive young men... oh yeah, we had those too!! ;)

Cape Town, Baby!!

Sat 24th March ....

Baz Bused it all the way to Cape Town today, another all day journey but again some spectaculer views down the Garden Route. Actually awe-inspiring. The beauty found in this place in undeniable. From the first moment you meet it, it calls out to you, gently but firmly holding your attention. Infintely blue skies seperated from stretches of clean sand by powerful breakers rolling up to the waters edge - all this I had expected. What I had not been prepared for was the dramatic hills defining the landscape from the coast inwards. A distant mountain range shrouded in mist and glowing in the evening light rises gracefully up to meet the heavens, sending out rolls of grassy plains abounding from its feet. Once the sun has set, the golden orange glow gives way as darkness encroaches over the epic landscape. In the distance, the sky is punctuated by whispy clouds, stark in contrast against their gently luminous backdrop. All is peaceful as the world prepares for sleep.

Last Few Days of Freedom!

Wed 21st - Fri 23rd March

I felt quite bereft leaving Durban, as if I really hadn't spent enough time there. Taking up on the Baz Bus once again, I spent all day travelling down the Wild Coast to Port Elizabeth (and I mean ALL day, we left at 7.30 in the morning, and arrived at 11.30 at night!). My bum was glad to get off that bus - I worked out that journey was longer than the time I had spent on the aeroplane to get here!! We even watched some films! But to be honest, who wants to watch a 10 year old movie when you are travelling along some of the most dramatic coastline in the world? Exactly. Beautiful views, I got quite jealous of all these people hopping on and off the bus while I had to move on past all these gorgeous places. Got to be in Cape Town by the weekend!! The Baz Bus is a good place to meet people, as you invariably end up sitting next to or nearby someone new for a good few hours, but I am getting tired of explaining myself to so many new faces knowing that they are either going to forget because they are just being polite or I'm never going to see them again. Once I arrive at my hostel it's straight to bed but looking forward to some me time the next day.

I wake up and decide to go to the beach. I am interested to see a bit of the town, as it's where Aimee used to live, but really I want to spend some time by the ocean seeing as I missed out in that in Durban. The hostel staff are very friendly, and give me a street map with lots of arrows on it. I spend the day wandering down (it takes quite a while, as it is a lot further to get to the beach than it sounds) and had a brunch in a cafe overlooking the sea. Read a book until I felt I had overstayed my welcome (waitresses here are rather over-attentive and despite the fact the place was empty they seemed quite keen for me to pay my bill!!) and then wandered some more down what seemed like endless beaches. It was so wonderful to breath the sea air and feel the sand between my toes, and know that I had absolutely nothing to do today except enjoy myself. I end up thinking a lot about Indonesia, and Hoga, and realise that I really miss it a lot. It scares me how much of a yearning for it I feel. I wonder if I'll ever see those friends again? I must make going back next summer a priority, if I get the chance again...

Sat for a while in the dunes and then noticed that my feet were burning. Realising I have fallen for the deception of the clouds and wind, I turn back in search of some shade which is eventually found in an ice-cream parlour (hehe!!). Well, I need fuelling up for the trip back (South African cities seem to all be built on hills!).

It later emerges that I didn't put my suncream on evenly at all this morning, so once again I have an original design splashed all the way up my arms and legs. Nice. An early night ensues as it's first ting for the bus again tomorrow morning. Thankfully only an hour or so to get to the next stop though...

Jeffery's Bay!! The surfing capital of Africa. Or the world, depending on who you speak to. Well, I had to see it didn't I? Rather an odd sort of place - blatantly all about surfing, and apart from that just a quiet little beach town going about it's daily business. Beautiful beach. Shame about the stick in the middle dictating which side of it the blacks stay and which side the whites stay (that made me cross). My bed at the hostel was right by the door and looked out over the sea, I was absolutely mesmerised by those waves! I would have liked to have spent longer here - I think I would have done a lot more if I had, but I only had the one day, so enough for a nose around and that's it really. Plus sunburn issues prevented any surfing related frolikry. But had a nice chilled out day and made some more friends! The hostel had quite a party vibe, so it was an interesting place to chat to some interesting people that evening over beers and mexican food. But by this point I was itching to get on to Cape Town and find out what I would be doing for the next 3 months!!